Domino's Pizza Creates The Greatest Pizza Delivery Machine

Domino's Pizza, Inc. (NYSE:DPZ) just unveiled the greatest pizza delivery car the world has ever seen

Oct 22, 2015 at 2:38 PM
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In the race to innovate in the auto industry, Google and Apple just got crushed by ... Domino's Pizza, Inc. (NYSE:DPZ). That's right -- Domino's just launched a state-of-the-art pizza delivery car. Forget the self-driving car; Domino's knows what the consumer wants: 80 pizzas at once, all right out of the oven. In an age where technological breakthroughs are a dime a dozen, this is one that deserves our respect and admiration. Just read the first paragraph of the company's press release

"In its latest innovation as the recognized world leader in pizza delivery, Domino's (NYSE: DPZ) is launching the Domino's DXP™ (Delivery Expert), a specially designed and built pizza delivery vehicle. The DXP is the combined brainchild of former GM R&D executive Kenneth R. Baker, Michigan-based Roush Enterprises and Domino's. To also include consumers' input, hundreds of concepts were initially identified in an online crowdsourcing design competition hosted by Local Motors."

Domino's just described a pizza delivery car as someone's "brainchild" and made Delivery Expert a proper noun. Is today the best day ever? Also: they put a former General Motors Company (NYSE:GM) executive in charge of this; a rich, ridiculously educated and experienced person just spent countless hours designing a pizza delivery car, and I suddenly have faith in humanity again. Sure, they took designs from outside sources, but I'm going to safely assume they didn't even look at those, and that was just a corporate PR stunt. Companies don't -- and shouldn't -- care about our pedestrian ideas. 

And while everyone's clamoring over the latest iPhone or laptop or fitness band, Domino's has thankfully put its efforts toward something useful and exciting. What does Apple have in the works? WHO CARES! Tell me what Domino's has cooking up in the tech department. This thing clearly trumps anything Apple, Microsoft, or any other tech company has ever produced. The car has a warming oven that's ACCESSIBLE TO DRIVERS WITH THE TOUCH OF A KEY FOB. We have lived to see the intersection of pizza pies and fobs. Somewhere, Elon Musk is kicking himself. 

More impressively, this Batmobile of a car can carry up to 80 pizzas at a time. Domino's delivery drivers aren't going to be able to cross certain bridges now. You're going to see Domino's delivery drivers pulling in to weigh stations with state highway patrol officers shining lights into pizza boxes. And still, somehow, it gets 39 miles to the gallon. Truly, it destroys all notions of what is possible in this life. 

One can only wonder how long Domino's has been working on this. Something of this magnitude, it had to have been decades. I'm guessing the blueprints were first drawn up in the mid '80s and have been re-worked and polished over time. Generation after generation have likely spent their days conceiving the --

Oh, it says it took three years. 

But still, what a marvel! What a guiding light for this country, and especially for Michigan -- it's about time they do something right up there

I can now rest easy, knowing there's a company out there that's doing the right things, and isn't backing away from the biggest challenges of our times. What will come next? Hopefully a car that shoots pizzas from a cannon, right through my front window, onto my dinner table. This will cut down on the wasted time it takes for the delivery driver to get out of the car and walk to the door -- unnecessary. I'm not worried about the window. Or maybe a pizza box that calculates and then celebrates how quickly I consume my pizza? They could add military grade armor -- or I guess just make the next version a tank-like vehicle equipped with myriad tools to evade (or destroy) traffic so I can get my pizza ASAP. The possibilities are endless. 

Honestly, the most exciting part about this might be the fact that the cars are equipped with OnStar navigation. Hopefully now I won't have to field 11 phone calls just to get Chad to apartment No. 12A. (Odds on the left, evens on the right. It's not that hard.) I can't have that on my Netflix-and-chill Sundays. 

It goes without saying that DPZ is higher today on the news, last seen up 0.2% at $103.67. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to quit this job so I can go deliver pizzas for Domino's Pizza, Inc. (NYSE:DPZ). 


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