You've known for months that it has been coming, but you cling to the hope that it won't happen to you. After all, you have been with the company for many years. You have produced great results. On your current project, the company can't survive without you.

But the company has not been doing well. You have watched others around you lose their jobs. But you know they won't let you go. They need you.

Of course you know you are in denial. Although you haven't lost your job yet, denial is the first stage of having to start over; of having to go through the agonizing process of finding a new job. The questions pound through your head: "How long will it take? Will I have to move? Do I have enough resources to survive a long job search? Will I have to take a cut in pay? Will I like my new job?"

Suffering the loss of a job can be an emotionally wrenching experience. Regardless of the reason, it is usually difficult to understand. Extensive research has demonstrated a consistent pattern that is exhibited in the following:

Emotional Stages of a Job Loss
Denial
Disbelief
Outward Anger
Inward Self-Criticism
Withdrawal
Reflection
Acceptance

Let's briefly take a look at each stage:

1. Denial. You want to believe that it won't happen to you. But too often you are fooling yourself. It is the wise employee who recognizes what is coming and begins the process of seeking a new opportunity.

2. Disbelief. When the day comes and you receive your discharge, the first reaction is "I can't believe it. They have made a mistake. They will call me back." But you really know they won't, which leads you into the next stage.

3. Outward Anger. The anger may take many different forms. It may be directed toward your boss: "How stupid can he/she possibly be?" Or to the company, the economy, or any other convenient outlet for your anger. Sometimes, unfortunately, it is directed toward family members and friends, resulting in high stress and tension for everyone. As your outward anger subsides, you start to move into the next stage.

4. Inward Self-Criticism. This is the most difficult stage. You may begin to blame yourself for what happened: "What did I do wrong? How did I fail? I must not be any good." Typically, this is when your self-worth and self-confidence begin to wane and you reach the onset of stage five.

5. Withdrawal. All of a sudden you find every excuse to avoid contact with the external world. You experience periods of depression. You stop your usual social activities. Your physical activity declines. You start to gain weight. UGH. It is at this point that your inner strength and family support are most important. You begin to think through what has happened and stage six begins to unfold.

6. Reflection. Being depressed is no fun and that extra twenty pounds doesn't look good either. It is time to do something about it. You begin to take stock of your life and career abilities. "What should I do now? Where do my talents best fit? How do I conduct my search? Now, instead of looking back, you start to look forward and move into the final stage.

7. Acceptance. "Hey, it's not my fault. My company fell on hard times. I am a great person with exceptional talent, so when I land my new job, my new employer is going to get one dynamic, motivated employee. I'm excited. This is a great opportunity for new challenges, new friends, and a whole new positive outlook on life." You have made it. You have survived the loss of your job. You are now ready to move on to a new challenge.

It is imperative that you move through each stage as quickly as possible. The individuals who are accustomed to dealing with difficult challenges and high stress situations usually move through the stages within a couple of weeks. For some people, the stages can drag on for months. If you can't move to "acceptance" quickly, then perhaps you could benefit from professional guidance.

Yes, as a survivor you still face the arduous task of conducting a tough job search with all its inherent frustrations. To succeed, be creative in your search. Seek out advice and help from friends and work colleagues. There are tons of resources on the Net and in your community to assist you. Through persistence and hard work, you will land a great new job. When all is done, you will probably end up saying: "You know, losing that job was not easy, and the job search was tough, but I couldn't be happier in my new position."

Don Straits, CEO and Dragon Slayer, CorporateWarriors.com, is recognized as a nationwide authority on contemporary job search strategies. His organization provides world-class outplacement and individual marketing services to senior level executives. Corporate Warriors has earned industry acclaim for its world-class multimedia resume portfolios. He can be contacted at don@corporatewarriors.com or (916) 783-0860. Website: www.corporatewarriors.com.

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